No.190

Possible film idea #7809. After a stag do gone awry, Mr Average wakes up in the middle of Delamere Forest. There’s no Wi-Fi, his bottled water is running dangerously low and he has absolutely no experience of the outside world. Things aren’t looking good. They get worse when he realises a particularly ugly alien trophy hunter is on his trail. This outfit comes from the key scene where Alan orders an Our Legacy shirt from the Oi Polloi sale in a bid to beat the Predator at its own game. We won’t ruin the ending, except to say the Predator eventually decapitates Alan in a nail-biting finale in Frodsham shopping centre. Everyone lives happily ever after.