Oi Polloi

No.390

Published: Fri Aug 21 2020

PURPLE RAIN 2: RAIN HARDER

Now we're not saying that Prince's 1984 musical cinematic opus Purple Rain can be improved upon, but we do think the IP is ripe for franchise-isation.

Here's an idea for the sequel – Purple Rain 2: Rain Harder. It's the tale of Tarquinius Falquad, a boy born into nobility on the purple planet of Lavendoid. After his scheming, evil uncle Dave (we ran out of naming-based steam) mounts a revolution that leads to the death of his parents, Tarquinius must flee to Earth, where he finds hope in the humble art of lumberjackery.

We know that doesn't have a whole lot in common with the original Purple Rain, but who cares? Get whatever flavour-of-the-month popstar to do an OST, stick a CGI cameo from Prince in there, have Iron Man show up at the end at set up another sequel and we promise you'll be printing money in no time.

  1. Patagonia
    Long Sleeved Fjord Flannel Shirt
    Burl Wood Purple
    Size L  
  2. Carhartt WIP
    Hooded Chase Sweatshirt
    Cold Viola / Gold
    Size XL
  3. Edwin
    Loose Straight Jeans
    13.5oz rainbow selvage natural white rinsed
    Size 34
  4. Sebago
    Ranger Hairy Suede
    Beige Caramel
    Size UK 10
  5. Anonymous Ism
    5 Colour Mix Crew Socks
    Mustard
    Size L
  6. Timex
    Navi Land
    Titanium / Black