Oi Polloi

No.395

Published: Fri Nov 20 2020

THE COTTON CANDY COWBOY

For those not in the know, the Cotton Candy Cowboy is the main character from... errr... The Cotton Candy Cowboy, a short-lived American television serial that ran from 1963 'till 1965.

A typical episode would see our pastel-hued protagonist shuffling around various rundown frontier towns (that always suspiciously looked like the same set with certain buildings switched), learning of the injustices suffered by the townsfolk (usually perpetrated some nefarious, moustachioed cattle baron) and setting off on a quest to right said wrongs.

However, due to his deliberating love of all things sweet, this sugar-toothed gunslinger could very easily be bought off with a packet of chocolate limes or pear drops, and the episode would end with the Cotton Candy Cowboy running off into the distance, a smile spread across his cavity-infested mouth.

Somewhat miraculously, the show wasn't even cancelled – it received pretty decent ratings until star Bud McGluaghin left the show to star in The Raisinet Ranger, a film so mind-bogglingly terrible that it managed to destroy Bud's career and the studio that financed it.

No one really knows what happened to Bud – did he flee to Argentina to live out a life of quiet solitude? Did he go mental and start sending bits of dead skin and toenails to the critics who tore his life to shreds? Or perhaps he repurposed his love of pastel colours and sweet foodstuffs and opened a ice cream emporium in Rusholme called Moonlight?

 

  1. C.P. Company longsleeve cord shirt (blue fog) XL
    Long Sleeve Cord Shirt 
    Blue Fog
    XL
  2. Stussy
    Beach Plaid Shirt
    Dustry Rose
    M
  3. Uniform Bridge
    Heavyweight Pocket Tee
    Purple
    XL
  4. Adsum
    Hogan Pant
    Sky Blue
    L
  5. Mephisto
    Rainbow Velours
    Loden
    UK 10
  6. Adsum
    Core Logo Sock
    White
    One size