No.421

MR. MONEYBAGS, ESQ.: 

All you lowly serfs might think it’s a doddle being minted, but as Mr. Biggie Smalls once astutely observed, the problems do indeed pile up alongside the pounds.

Losing countless evenings to conference calls… ceaseless sports car maintenance blag… shareholder scrutiny… tax man bother… snivelling heirs lusting after majority shares… struggling through chit-chat with a constantly-revolving cast of house-keepers… having to turn the portrait orientation lock off to see the full number of your bank balance… a marathon is still a marathon, even if it takes place on gold-paved streets.

This chap is one such individual afflicted by the kind-of money-induced stress that’d break other men’s spirits like a soggy Ritz cracker. Sure, he may have the slick made in USA trainers and the classy cord shirt, but until you’ve stomped a mile in those New Balance, don’t be saying that owning the North West’s biggest door handle manufacturing company is a walk in the park.