No.129

Not a lot of people know this, but Soviet spies have spent the last few years gathering data from our Deck-Out series. Their aim was simple: create the perfect Deck-Out. After feeding the data into a supercomputer and adding a few hairs pulled from a jumper they bought from Mr Brown, they needed a volunteer. A willing young doctor stepped forward. One cold, rainy night, seven miles underground, Dr Deck-Out was born. Just one look at that cold stare behind those Ray-Bans and you can tell he’s the product of top-secret genetic modification, vigorous Ivan Drago-style high-tech workouts and the odd lesson on colour coordination and layering. He may have the odd side effect (when he gets angry he turns a lovely mélange green), but you’ve got to admit he does look pretty slick. It seems he’s even inherited our love for bad puns. A Gitman Bros. shirt with boat decks on? Yep, he’s Dr Deck-Out alright…